I have a feedback from my son Sachin on my previous blog.He says that I have focused more on the agony of theatre than on the joys of parenthood.
Mea culpa, and I'll proceed to set right matters.
The most endearing thing about Sachin as a baby, apart from his marble-like black eyes, was the way he would suck his right forefinger and middle finger . This was heaven to him.
He was a late walker, only at around 11 months or so.He was also a very quiet boy--- absolutely no tantrums.When we were in Ashoknagar, Vasuki and Arathi had come to visit us. They took him outside the house in his pram and then tried to race the pram.In the process, Sachin fell off from the pram and sustained minor injuries.I was off at work then and these two were shivering in their boots wondering what I'd say when I came back home.They still remember the incident.
In May 1979, we went to Bangalore to attend Rajani's wedding.It was a gala affair and we enjoyed ourselves hugely.Sachin was just 9 months old then and really quite chubby. Sethuram called him "benne biscuit" and fussed over him a lot.
We celebrated his first birthday in Aug 1979 by cutting a cake and calling Prakash and Rosy who were staying in Besant Nagar then. I remember that they presented him with a copy of "Bala Ramayana".
Sandhya was extremely fond of him and used to call him Johnny boy.He used to call her Jujja and the name has stuck till this day.We had all gone to KGF for Janmashtami in Sep 1979 and Sachin was dressed up like a little Krishna.Very cute.
Sandhya would invariably take Sachin every date to Oorgaum Railway Station to watch the train passing by.
1979 was when we bought our first TV--- a black and white TV set called Bharath TV. Every day we would watch from 6.30 PM starting with the Doordarshan logo.Initially we had just the Doordarshan channel and then we had Doordarshan 1 and Doordarshan 2 where the second channel was a commercial one with advertisements etc.
Wimbledon was a great attraction and watching the epic final between McEnroe and Bjorn Borg made me feel that the TV was paisa vasool.
Gayathri got married in May 1980 to Vittal and we travelled to Bangalore for the wedding.
In September 1980, I made my second travel by flight from Madras to Bombay for a Sales Conference in Ankleshwar.
We stayed in Hotel Poonam International in Shiv Sagar Estate in Worli and travelled by bus to Ankleshwar.I bought a saree for mummy at Akbarally's and Bombay Halwa for everyone at Dadar.
By now, Sandhya had finished her B Com and my parents were on the lookout for a suitable groom for her.Sandhya's friend Shobha was the first to get engaged and the wedding date was fixed for 21 Mar 1981.Within a short while, Sandhya was engaged to Ravikumaraswamy who was a partner in a packaging industry in Bangalore.
Ravi's parents stayed in Jayanagar 1st Block and his father Prof S.Ramaswamy was a retired Professor of Physics in Central College, Bangalore.His grandather , Dr.S Subba Rao, was the palace physician to the Maharaja of Mysore and had travelled overseas in the 1930s .Ravi was the youngest of 5 brothers, all of whom were staying in Bangalore.
The wedding was fixed for 18th Mar 1981 at Prasanna Kalyana Mantapa in Jayanagar 1st Block near Ashoka Pillar.Sudha was now pregnant again. Her parents and Vinod and Ravi came down from Jabalpur where BVN was now transferred.
Sachin had high fever during the wedding but recovered soon.
We returned to Madras after attending Shobha's wedding also.
Meanwhile, Sudha was told that her iron content was low and was advised to take Fefol along with an oil injection which was a particularly painful one.This injection was to be taken once a week and she had to be under complete bed rest.
Mummy and Bhagya came down to KGF to look after her and we had to miss Nandini's wedding in May 1981.
Rummy, in the meanwhile, delivered her second child--- a boy--- in KGF on 1 May 1981.Aditya was born almost 8 1/2 years after Akhila. I conveyed the happy news to B S Nagaraj in Bangalore. He repeatedly asked me if I was sure it was a boy and I said yes, yes, yes.
Dad also retired from service on 31 May 1981 and was allowed to stay in the bungalow for another 3 months while Rummy was undergoing her bananthana( post natal care).
May 1981 was therefore a hectic month in many respects.
Sudha left with Sachin for Jabalpur in July 1981, but prior to that we shifted from Ashok Nagar to Teynampet.This was centrally located but the house was very small.Once again, I was forced to live the bachelor life.
The child was expected around Deepavali in 1981 and I planned my leave so as to be in Jabalpur around the time of the delivery.
Meanwhile, there was a Kannada drama called "Udhbhava" being staged and I was given a small role in it.Small means really small--- just one line of dialogue. I went for practice for one whole month.I had another friend called Srinivas who also had just one line of dialogue--- after mine.
On the day of the play, I was waiting eagerly to deliver my line. Srinivas was even more eager than me.He jumped the queue and delivered his dialogue before mine and thus I lost my chance. Such are the ways of theatre.
My next blog will cover the details of the birth of my second son.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
The Joys of Parenthood( 1978-1981)
I forgot to mention in my earlier blog that Thammayya ( Saraswathi's son) got married in June 1978.
I returned from Jagdalpur in Oct 1978 and continued with my bachelor life.Sudha stayed back in Jagdalpur and was expected to return to Madras sometime in Dec 1978 but no date was set.
One fine day in Dec, I returned from Office and found they were already home!! No phone call, no telegram --- nothing.Her parents had accompanied Sudha and Sachin and they had made the journey by car.
I used to normally give the house key next door to the Gopinaths so that the maidservant could finish up her washing and cleaning, so Sudha and her parents had no problem getting into the house.They were surprised to see the house spic and span even without any notice of their arrival.
Rama Aunty straightaway took charge of Sachin.The regular oil bath and massage and looking after him when Sudha was having her bath was all taken care of by Rama Aunty.
As Sachin started his baby steps and then the running around, Sudha used to tie him to an immovable object---- the dining table or the sofa--- with enough length to enable him move within a confined area.
Around this time, relations sarted to sour between our landlady and us.The landlady was jealous of the increased friendship between the Gopinaths and us on the first floor.
Finally, matters came to a head in March 1979 and we were told to vacate.We looked desperately for a house in T'Nagar but didn't anything suitable.We finally moved to an independent house in Ashok Nagar ( rent Rs.500 per month).
The house was very nice with 2 bedrooms and a lawn but it was too far from Mount Road, my Office and all our usual haunts.The house was owned by the brother-in-law of one of my friends G.Jayaraman.Sudha was very unhappy with the move but soon settled down.
Miraculously, we found another Maami at the back of our house.The lady was a widow and was staying with her 2 sons and 2 daughters ( all in their teens and early twenties). Straightaway they adopted Sachin and made life easier for us.
I know I'm writing about the joys of parenthood and it isn't as though the joy comes from having other people take care of your kid--- but still, it felt good to know that there were others to take care of Sachin when things became a little too much.
Meanwhile our activities in Kannada theatre increased.There was one drama to be done for the Sourabha program of Doordarshan and we all practised hard. Sudha would carry Sachin on her hips and do the rehearsals at Karnataka Sangha.
There were plenty of others to look after Sachin also.
In May 1979, I got a chance to make my first trip in an aeroplane and also my first stay in a 5 star hotel. A business visitor had come from Malaysia and I was told to accompany him to Bangalore, Manipal( where the visitor's son was studying at Manipal Medical College), Hubli and back to Madras via Bangalore.
We were booked in Hotel Ashok at Bangalore and caught a flight from Bangalore to Madras.
In May 1979, we also attended Rajani's wedding with Murali at Bangalore. This was a gala affair with all uncles and aunts in attendance. Anti's Navilu dance was one of the highlights of the entertainment program.
Sachin was properly fussed over and Sethuram used to call him "Benne Biscuit".
In June 1979 we visited Bhadravati for the Grihapravesha of Seethakka's house.Sudha was keen on going to a Kannada movie " Hombisilu" and went with Shashi and Chaya.She left Sachin behind at home and as usual he cried because his mom had left him.
Sudha was met with accusing stares when she got back from the movie and promptly burst into tears, especially when Seethakka told her how "poor" Kesari was left alone to manage the kid.
In October 1979, we travelled to Bhadravati again for Chaya's wedding.Good fun as usual.
Kittu Maava ( my mother-in-law's brother) came down to Bangalore in November 1979 and we had a pleasant meeting with him.
In November 1979, we were invited by the Karnataka Nataka Academy to the Horanada Kannadigara Drama Festival at Ravindra Kalakshetra in Bangalore.Our Director was H.N.Srinivas, a HR professional with United India Insurance at that time.The play chosen was a Kannada translation of a Sanskrit play called "Bhagavathachukeya" and the Kannada name of the play was "Soole Sanyasi". It was a play about a prostitute and an ascetic and the transmigration of souls.
It involved songs and dances and the subject was esoteric, to say the least--not the kind of story that could be understood by the common man.
We practiced the dialogues and dance in our drawing room which was no more than 12ft x 10ft.Since all of us were working, there were always one or two people absent during every rehearsal.
Our drama was to be staged on a Sunday.It was a double header with the first play being "Jokumaraswamy" --- a very famous one being staged for the 50th time by a professional drama troupe and was already making waves in the theatre circuit.
We travelled on a Friday night from Madras to Bangalore and rang up all our friends and relatives to come and watch our performance on Sunday.
We met up on the Saturday evening for a rehearsal and this was in fact the first time that all actors were present.We had to wait till the featured play got over and the stage was given to us at 12 midnight.
Our first surprise was the stage.It was huge-- at least 40ft x 40 ft.By the time we went one round of the stage, we were breathless.The play also involved intricate lighting where there would be two groups of actors on the stage.One group would talk among themselves in one part of the stage and the other group would stand in darkness in another part of the stage.The dialogue would then switch to the other group and the previous group would stand in darkness since they were not supposed to know what was being spoken.Srinivas called one of his theatre friends in Bangalore to watch the rehearsal and make notes in the script on the lighting changes to be done.
It was 4 AM by the time we finished the rehearsal and went home.We came back to the venue by 3 PM.There was a huge crowd and a big clamour for tickets.People came to me and begged for tickets but I shrugged them off imperiously."Jokumaraswamy" got over and was a huge success judging by the audience applause.
And then our play started.Things started to go wrong right from the beginning.One of the actors said " Huli Banthu! Huli Banthu!!" ( The tiger is coming!!) and a cat ran across the stage.This was actually supposed to be a serious situation , but the audience roared with laughter.
One of the actors forgot his dialogue midway, so he started all over again.Another actor spoke a dialogue of the 8th scene while doing the 3rd scene and the play carried on from there.A couple of people were supposed to die in the 4th and 5th scenes but they never got the chance and so continued living.
One actress was playing dead and suddenly relaized that she was not supposed to be on stage.She just got up and walked away.
The lighting specialist was so confused by all this that he forgot to control the lights. The result was that there were two groups on stage with the lights focused on both.One group mouthed the dialogues and suddenly went silent and then the other group mouthed their dialogue and kept silent.
The audience had no clue about what was going on ( and neither did the actors, for that matter).Mercifully the play came to an end and all our relations and friends came and said what a wonderful performance it was . We knew better.
Next day, there was a review of the play by a Kannada paper.
The reviewer wrote:" We have seen some pretty bad plays in our journalistic career but yesterday's play staged by a Madras troupe takes the cake. We had no clue about what the play was all about and neither did the actors.People came on to the stage and went out of it at will.The actors were mouthing their dialogues and then standing there like dumb puppets( this was when the lighting was not done as planned).
The only comforting factor is that this was a brave attempt by a Horanada ( out of State) troupe and therefore we must commend their bravery in trying out a complicated drama".
( to be continued)
I returned from Jagdalpur in Oct 1978 and continued with my bachelor life.Sudha stayed back in Jagdalpur and was expected to return to Madras sometime in Dec 1978 but no date was set.
One fine day in Dec, I returned from Office and found they were already home!! No phone call, no telegram --- nothing.Her parents had accompanied Sudha and Sachin and they had made the journey by car.
I used to normally give the house key next door to the Gopinaths so that the maidservant could finish up her washing and cleaning, so Sudha and her parents had no problem getting into the house.They were surprised to see the house spic and span even without any notice of their arrival.
Rama Aunty straightaway took charge of Sachin.The regular oil bath and massage and looking after him when Sudha was having her bath was all taken care of by Rama Aunty.
As Sachin started his baby steps and then the running around, Sudha used to tie him to an immovable object---- the dining table or the sofa--- with enough length to enable him move within a confined area.
Around this time, relations sarted to sour between our landlady and us.The landlady was jealous of the increased friendship between the Gopinaths and us on the first floor.
Finally, matters came to a head in March 1979 and we were told to vacate.We looked desperately for a house in T'Nagar but didn't anything suitable.We finally moved to an independent house in Ashok Nagar ( rent Rs.500 per month).
The house was very nice with 2 bedrooms and a lawn but it was too far from Mount Road, my Office and all our usual haunts.The house was owned by the brother-in-law of one of my friends G.Jayaraman.Sudha was very unhappy with the move but soon settled down.
Miraculously, we found another Maami at the back of our house.The lady was a widow and was staying with her 2 sons and 2 daughters ( all in their teens and early twenties). Straightaway they adopted Sachin and made life easier for us.
I know I'm writing about the joys of parenthood and it isn't as though the joy comes from having other people take care of your kid--- but still, it felt good to know that there were others to take care of Sachin when things became a little too much.
Meanwhile our activities in Kannada theatre increased.There was one drama to be done for the Sourabha program of Doordarshan and we all practised hard. Sudha would carry Sachin on her hips and do the rehearsals at Karnataka Sangha.
There were plenty of others to look after Sachin also.
In May 1979, I got a chance to make my first trip in an aeroplane and also my first stay in a 5 star hotel. A business visitor had come from Malaysia and I was told to accompany him to Bangalore, Manipal( where the visitor's son was studying at Manipal Medical College), Hubli and back to Madras via Bangalore.
We were booked in Hotel Ashok at Bangalore and caught a flight from Bangalore to Madras.
In May 1979, we also attended Rajani's wedding with Murali at Bangalore. This was a gala affair with all uncles and aunts in attendance. Anti's Navilu dance was one of the highlights of the entertainment program.
Sachin was properly fussed over and Sethuram used to call him "Benne Biscuit".
In June 1979 we visited Bhadravati for the Grihapravesha of Seethakka's house.Sudha was keen on going to a Kannada movie " Hombisilu" and went with Shashi and Chaya.She left Sachin behind at home and as usual he cried because his mom had left him.
Sudha was met with accusing stares when she got back from the movie and promptly burst into tears, especially when Seethakka told her how "poor" Kesari was left alone to manage the kid.
In October 1979, we travelled to Bhadravati again for Chaya's wedding.Good fun as usual.
Kittu Maava ( my mother-in-law's brother) came down to Bangalore in November 1979 and we had a pleasant meeting with him.
In November 1979, we were invited by the Karnataka Nataka Academy to the Horanada Kannadigara Drama Festival at Ravindra Kalakshetra in Bangalore.Our Director was H.N.Srinivas, a HR professional with United India Insurance at that time.The play chosen was a Kannada translation of a Sanskrit play called "Bhagavathachukeya" and the Kannada name of the play was "Soole Sanyasi". It was a play about a prostitute and an ascetic and the transmigration of souls.
It involved songs and dances and the subject was esoteric, to say the least--not the kind of story that could be understood by the common man.
We practiced the dialogues and dance in our drawing room which was no more than 12ft x 10ft.Since all of us were working, there were always one or two people absent during every rehearsal.
Our drama was to be staged on a Sunday.It was a double header with the first play being "Jokumaraswamy" --- a very famous one being staged for the 50th time by a professional drama troupe and was already making waves in the theatre circuit.
We travelled on a Friday night from Madras to Bangalore and rang up all our friends and relatives to come and watch our performance on Sunday.
We met up on the Saturday evening for a rehearsal and this was in fact the first time that all actors were present.We had to wait till the featured play got over and the stage was given to us at 12 midnight.
Our first surprise was the stage.It was huge-- at least 40ft x 40 ft.By the time we went one round of the stage, we were breathless.The play also involved intricate lighting where there would be two groups of actors on the stage.One group would talk among themselves in one part of the stage and the other group would stand in darkness in another part of the stage.The dialogue would then switch to the other group and the previous group would stand in darkness since they were not supposed to know what was being spoken.Srinivas called one of his theatre friends in Bangalore to watch the rehearsal and make notes in the script on the lighting changes to be done.
It was 4 AM by the time we finished the rehearsal and went home.We came back to the venue by 3 PM.There was a huge crowd and a big clamour for tickets.People came to me and begged for tickets but I shrugged them off imperiously."Jokumaraswamy" got over and was a huge success judging by the audience applause.
And then our play started.Things started to go wrong right from the beginning.One of the actors said " Huli Banthu! Huli Banthu!!" ( The tiger is coming!!) and a cat ran across the stage.This was actually supposed to be a serious situation , but the audience roared with laughter.
One of the actors forgot his dialogue midway, so he started all over again.Another actor spoke a dialogue of the 8th scene while doing the 3rd scene and the play carried on from there.A couple of people were supposed to die in the 4th and 5th scenes but they never got the chance and so continued living.
One actress was playing dead and suddenly relaized that she was not supposed to be on stage.She just got up and walked away.
The lighting specialist was so confused by all this that he forgot to control the lights. The result was that there were two groups on stage with the lights focused on both.One group mouthed the dialogues and suddenly went silent and then the other group mouthed their dialogue and kept silent.
The audience had no clue about what was going on ( and neither did the actors, for that matter).Mercifully the play came to an end and all our relations and friends came and said what a wonderful performance it was . We knew better.
Next day, there was a review of the play by a Kannada paper.
The reviewer wrote:" We have seen some pretty bad plays in our journalistic career but yesterday's play staged by a Madras troupe takes the cake. We had no clue about what the play was all about and neither did the actors.People came on to the stage and went out of it at will.The actors were mouthing their dialogues and then standing there like dumb puppets( this was when the lighting was not done as planned).
The only comforting factor is that this was a brave attempt by a Horanada ( out of State) troupe and therefore we must commend their bravery in trying out a complicated drama".
( to be continued)
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Life in Madras(1976-1978)
After this adventure in Madurai, life became more normal.
In Sep 1976, Sudha and I made a trip to Jagdalpur.My father-in-law had been posted to Jagdalpur as Superintending Engineer in the PWD .
We travelled to Vizag and he had come there to pick us up by car.It was an 8 hour journey from Vizag to Jagdalpur, much of it through forested area. We passed through Sunabeda, Koraput and the Dandakaranya forest of Ramayana lore. In fact,there is a common perception in these areas that the Lanka of Ravana is from this region and not Sri Lanka as is commonly believed.In fact, all these places have a suffix Lanka after their names eg Kanker Lanka, Dantewada Lanka etc.
Anyway, we reached Jagdalpur in the evening.BVN had a huge bungalow with 6 bedrooms, 6 dressing rooms and 6 atached bathrooms.There was an army of retainers waiting to receive us.The house also had a table tennis table.
Jagdalpur was a small town and the capital of Bastar District which was bigger in area than the state of Kerala.
During our trip, we paid a visit to Kutumsar caves which have stalactites and stalagmites.On the way back,we came through Bhadrachalam to Vijayawada and returned to Madras.
After we returned from Jagdalpur, Sudha and I moved from Annanagar to Chetput so that I could be closer to my office in Egmore.This move was made in Sep 1976.
In Oct 1976, we again went to Mysore for Rosy's wedding and , on the way back, we attend Venu's sister Vani's wedding at Bangalore on 13 Oct 1976.Vani's husband G.V.Sukumara was my senior in Hassan.
Our weekends were spent in going to Balu's house or Bhagavan's house to watch movies on Doordarshan.We also went to a lot of movies, prominent among them being "Kabhi Kabhi", "Khel Khel Mein", "Karz" etc.
In Feb 1977, Venu's father A.N.Anantharamiah passed away and Venu and Jayalakshmi had to be in Bangalore for the ceremonies. They left behind their children Vagdevi,Abhaya and Prasad at our house.
I thought I was the only one who hated cream ( kene) in milk and curds, but Abhaya went one better than me. He always used to carry a filter in his pocket. He would use this to filter the coffee and curds and ensure no cream.
In March 1977, we moved to another house in Kamala Bai Street in T'Nagar. How we got there is an interesting story.
Balu had told us about a portion of a house being vacant in Kamala Bai Street near Vani Mahal.We went to the place and started looking for the house.It was night and we heard some music emanating from one of the upper floors of a house.We went and found that there was a group practising Kannada songs.On further enquiry, we found that the house we were looking for was in another portion of the same building.
The head of the family was introduced to us.He was Mr.M K Gopinath and the family including his wife Rama, sons Mohan and Prabhu and daughter Sheela.One of the guests there was Girija Vishwanath who was born in Chitradurga and knew Kanthu.We straightaway knew that this was the place we wanted to live in.
The building was split into four portions. The two portions on the ground floor belonged to two brothers who were not on speaking terms with each other. Mr.Gopinath was the tenant on the 1st floor in one portion and the other portion on the first floor was the vacant one which we had come to see.
We took the house on rent ( Rs.300 per month) and moved in on 1st Mar 1977.This house was centrally located; Pondy Bazaar was just a street away and Panagal Park was also within walking distance though it had not yet gained its fame ( notriety??) as a shopping centre as it has now.The only problem was that Kamala Bai Street was a low lying area and used to get flooded if there was rain.Friends and relatives visiting us would joke that what we needed was a boat, not a scooter.
Balu's house was less than a kilometre away and we went to their house frequently.
Venu and family had moved to Hyderabad meanwhile so that was one house where we stopped our visits.
In Oct 1977, Dad, Mom and Sandhya went on a trip to Kashmir.Kanthu and Venkatesh were in Srinagar and the plan was to visit Delhi and Bombay on the way back.Tragically, Ramanna( mom's father) passed away in Shimoga when they were all in Srinagar, so Mom and Kanthu caught the next flight from Srinagar to Bangalore.
In Dec 1977, Sudha and I got the happy news that she was pregnant.
Meanwhile, Sudha and I had become members of Kannada Balaga and took part in our first Kannada Drama in Feb 1978 for the Ladies & Gents program.We had a brother and sister role and it came out fairly well.
Dad and Mom arranged the Shreemantha ceremony at KGF on 20th May 1978, a couple of days ahead of Sudha's cousin Viju's wedding on 25th May 1978 at Bangalore.
Sudha's parents were in attendance as also her brothers Vinod and Ravi.They had all come down from Jagdalpur by car.
From KGF all of us went to Bangalore for Viju's wedding. I remember that 25th May 1978 also happened to be the 25th wedding anniversary of Chandu Mava and Prema Atte.We had a grand time during the wedding.
From Bangalore, Sudha proceeded straight to Jagdalpur with her parents and brothers for her confinement.
I was back to living a bachelor's life again.Rama Aunty and Gopinath became my foster parents and took care of me well whenever I was in Madras. Otherwise I plunged myself into tours just to avoid being in Madras.
The Gopinaths were avid cards players and I would usually spend some time after dinner playing with them.
It was when I was having one such cards session on the evening of 22nd Aug 1978 that I got a telegram which said that Sudha had delivered a baby boy at 1.15 PM that day.
I immediately made preparations to leave for Jagdalpur and also bought a nice white and blue saree for Sudha.She maintains that this is the best saree of all the sarees that I have gifted her.
I reached Waltair a couple of days later and then caught a bus next day for the 8 hour journey to Jagdalpur.I reached at night and went to the maternity hospital next day.There was this child all wrapped up and the only thing I can remember was his marble like eyes peeping out at me.It was such a lovely experience holding this cute baby in my arms.
As usual , Sudha had a story for me about the delivery.
Her dad had checked out the delivery room of the maternity hospital a month before the delivery and found that it badly needed a coat of paint.He couldn't obviously get one room painted so he got the whole maternity hospital a new coat of paint.
A week before the delivery date, there was a new crisis.The lady doctor had received her transfer orders and the replacement doctor had not yet arrived.BVN was very worried that there would be no doctor available when the need arose.
So he delayed providing the required transport for the doctor to move out of Jagdalpur and thus the situation was saved.The PWD engineers gave the reason for non availability of transport as flooding of the bridges and roads and miraculously everything became OK as soon as the baby was born.
In October 1978 ( 2 months after the baby was born), my dad, mom, Sandhya, Rummy, Nagaraj, Akhila and I went together from Madras to Jagdalpur for the Namakarna ( Naming Ceremony).
We went by Coromandel Express from Madras to Waltair and reached there in the evening.We were to take a taxi from the station to the hotel for an overnight stay before catching a bus next morning for the 8 hour trip to Jagdalpur.
A person met us on the station platform and offered to take us to the hotel.We followed him and sat down in what must have been a 1930 model taxi.I sat in the front seat next to the taxi driver and he gave me a small plastic pipe to hold.
As soon as he sat, the driver took the pipe from me and put it somewhere close to his leg.The taxi moved in fits and starts and soon the driver pulled up near a petrol bunk.He have me the plastic pipe again and then took a plastic jerry can from near his leg to get the petrol filled. This was the petrol tank!!!
Incredibly, we engaged the same taxi again next morning to take us to the bus-stand and got there without any mishap.
The Namakarna ceremony went off very well and the baby boy was named Sachin. This was the name of a popular film star those days and the most romantic star pair those days was Sachin-Sarika.A lot of boys and girls born in 1978 were called Sachin and Sarika respectively.
There was a huge party arranged in the evening on the lawns of the bungalow.Everybody spoke only in Hindi and tis was a bit of a problem for us. Anyway Rummy decided to try out her Hindi on a small boy by calling out to him " Udhar Aao, Udhar Aao"--- instead of "Idhar Aao". The boy wa ssuitably confused and wondered whether he had learnt his Hindi properly.
We spent around 3 or 4 days playing cards ( Rummy) and Ravi made a neat Rs.150 which was a lot of money those days.
After a pleasant stay, we all returned to Madras .
My next blog will dwell on the joys of parenthood.
In Sep 1976, Sudha and I made a trip to Jagdalpur.My father-in-law had been posted to Jagdalpur as Superintending Engineer in the PWD .
We travelled to Vizag and he had come there to pick us up by car.It was an 8 hour journey from Vizag to Jagdalpur, much of it through forested area. We passed through Sunabeda, Koraput and the Dandakaranya forest of Ramayana lore. In fact,there is a common perception in these areas that the Lanka of Ravana is from this region and not Sri Lanka as is commonly believed.In fact, all these places have a suffix Lanka after their names eg Kanker Lanka, Dantewada Lanka etc.
Anyway, we reached Jagdalpur in the evening.BVN had a huge bungalow with 6 bedrooms, 6 dressing rooms and 6 atached bathrooms.There was an army of retainers waiting to receive us.The house also had a table tennis table.
Jagdalpur was a small town and the capital of Bastar District which was bigger in area than the state of Kerala.
During our trip, we paid a visit to Kutumsar caves which have stalactites and stalagmites.On the way back,we came through Bhadrachalam to Vijayawada and returned to Madras.
After we returned from Jagdalpur, Sudha and I moved from Annanagar to Chetput so that I could be closer to my office in Egmore.This move was made in Sep 1976.
In Oct 1976, we again went to Mysore for Rosy's wedding and , on the way back, we attend Venu's sister Vani's wedding at Bangalore on 13 Oct 1976.Vani's husband G.V.Sukumara was my senior in Hassan.
Our weekends were spent in going to Balu's house or Bhagavan's house to watch movies on Doordarshan.We also went to a lot of movies, prominent among them being "Kabhi Kabhi", "Khel Khel Mein", "Karz" etc.
In Feb 1977, Venu's father A.N.Anantharamiah passed away and Venu and Jayalakshmi had to be in Bangalore for the ceremonies. They left behind their children Vagdevi,Abhaya and Prasad at our house.
I thought I was the only one who hated cream ( kene) in milk and curds, but Abhaya went one better than me. He always used to carry a filter in his pocket. He would use this to filter the coffee and curds and ensure no cream.
In March 1977, we moved to another house in Kamala Bai Street in T'Nagar. How we got there is an interesting story.
Balu had told us about a portion of a house being vacant in Kamala Bai Street near Vani Mahal.We went to the place and started looking for the house.It was night and we heard some music emanating from one of the upper floors of a house.We went and found that there was a group practising Kannada songs.On further enquiry, we found that the house we were looking for was in another portion of the same building.
The head of the family was introduced to us.He was Mr.M K Gopinath and the family including his wife Rama, sons Mohan and Prabhu and daughter Sheela.One of the guests there was Girija Vishwanath who was born in Chitradurga and knew Kanthu.We straightaway knew that this was the place we wanted to live in.
The building was split into four portions. The two portions on the ground floor belonged to two brothers who were not on speaking terms with each other. Mr.Gopinath was the tenant on the 1st floor in one portion and the other portion on the first floor was the vacant one which we had come to see.
We took the house on rent ( Rs.300 per month) and moved in on 1st Mar 1977.This house was centrally located; Pondy Bazaar was just a street away and Panagal Park was also within walking distance though it had not yet gained its fame ( notriety??) as a shopping centre as it has now.The only problem was that Kamala Bai Street was a low lying area and used to get flooded if there was rain.Friends and relatives visiting us would joke that what we needed was a boat, not a scooter.
Balu's house was less than a kilometre away and we went to their house frequently.
Venu and family had moved to Hyderabad meanwhile so that was one house where we stopped our visits.
In Oct 1977, Dad, Mom and Sandhya went on a trip to Kashmir.Kanthu and Venkatesh were in Srinagar and the plan was to visit Delhi and Bombay on the way back.Tragically, Ramanna( mom's father) passed away in Shimoga when they were all in Srinagar, so Mom and Kanthu caught the next flight from Srinagar to Bangalore.
In Dec 1977, Sudha and I got the happy news that she was pregnant.
Meanwhile, Sudha and I had become members of Kannada Balaga and took part in our first Kannada Drama in Feb 1978 for the Ladies & Gents program.We had a brother and sister role and it came out fairly well.
Dad and Mom arranged the Shreemantha ceremony at KGF on 20th May 1978, a couple of days ahead of Sudha's cousin Viju's wedding on 25th May 1978 at Bangalore.
Sudha's parents were in attendance as also her brothers Vinod and Ravi.They had all come down from Jagdalpur by car.
From KGF all of us went to Bangalore for Viju's wedding. I remember that 25th May 1978 also happened to be the 25th wedding anniversary of Chandu Mava and Prema Atte.We had a grand time during the wedding.
From Bangalore, Sudha proceeded straight to Jagdalpur with her parents and brothers for her confinement.
I was back to living a bachelor's life again.Rama Aunty and Gopinath became my foster parents and took care of me well whenever I was in Madras. Otherwise I plunged myself into tours just to avoid being in Madras.
The Gopinaths were avid cards players and I would usually spend some time after dinner playing with them.
It was when I was having one such cards session on the evening of 22nd Aug 1978 that I got a telegram which said that Sudha had delivered a baby boy at 1.15 PM that day.
I immediately made preparations to leave for Jagdalpur and also bought a nice white and blue saree for Sudha.She maintains that this is the best saree of all the sarees that I have gifted her.
I reached Waltair a couple of days later and then caught a bus next day for the 8 hour journey to Jagdalpur.I reached at night and went to the maternity hospital next day.There was this child all wrapped up and the only thing I can remember was his marble like eyes peeping out at me.It was such a lovely experience holding this cute baby in my arms.
As usual , Sudha had a story for me about the delivery.
Her dad had checked out the delivery room of the maternity hospital a month before the delivery and found that it badly needed a coat of paint.He couldn't obviously get one room painted so he got the whole maternity hospital a new coat of paint.
A week before the delivery date, there was a new crisis.The lady doctor had received her transfer orders and the replacement doctor had not yet arrived.BVN was very worried that there would be no doctor available when the need arose.
So he delayed providing the required transport for the doctor to move out of Jagdalpur and thus the situation was saved.The PWD engineers gave the reason for non availability of transport as flooding of the bridges and roads and miraculously everything became OK as soon as the baby was born.
In October 1978 ( 2 months after the baby was born), my dad, mom, Sandhya, Rummy, Nagaraj, Akhila and I went together from Madras to Jagdalpur for the Namakarna ( Naming Ceremony).
We went by Coromandel Express from Madras to Waltair and reached there in the evening.We were to take a taxi from the station to the hotel for an overnight stay before catching a bus next morning for the 8 hour trip to Jagdalpur.
A person met us on the station platform and offered to take us to the hotel.We followed him and sat down in what must have been a 1930 model taxi.I sat in the front seat next to the taxi driver and he gave me a small plastic pipe to hold.
As soon as he sat, the driver took the pipe from me and put it somewhere close to his leg.The taxi moved in fits and starts and soon the driver pulled up near a petrol bunk.He have me the plastic pipe again and then took a plastic jerry can from near his leg to get the petrol filled. This was the petrol tank!!!
Incredibly, we engaged the same taxi again next morning to take us to the bus-stand and got there without any mishap.
The Namakarna ceremony went off very well and the baby boy was named Sachin. This was the name of a popular film star those days and the most romantic star pair those days was Sachin-Sarika.A lot of boys and girls born in 1978 were called Sachin and Sarika respectively.
There was a huge party arranged in the evening on the lawns of the bungalow.Everybody spoke only in Hindi and tis was a bit of a problem for us. Anyway Rummy decided to try out her Hindi on a small boy by calling out to him " Udhar Aao, Udhar Aao"--- instead of "Idhar Aao". The boy wa ssuitably confused and wondered whether he had learnt his Hindi properly.
We spent around 3 or 4 days playing cards ( Rummy) and Ravi made a neat Rs.150 which was a lot of money those days.
After a pleasant stay, we all returned to Madras .
My next blog will dwell on the joys of parenthood.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Grihastashrama( Married Life)---- 1976 to 1978
My first day in Madras as the head of a household was a bit of a disaster.
As I've mentioned earlier, my dad and mom and Sethuram and Seetha accompanied us to Madras.
We were staying in Annanagar West which was just on the edge of civilization.My scooter was the only mode of conveyance.To top it all, Sudha didn't know a word of Tamil.
We didn't have a gas connection and we didn't have a sofa set or dining table.A fridge was out of the question.
The first thing we did was to hire a small girl ( maybe around 10 years) as a servant maid.We called her Ponnu.
Next was to register with Aavin for daily milk supply.
As soon as we landed in Madras, I went out and made a phone call to Venu to tell him that we had come.Somewhere during the conversation, I invited Venu over with his family for dinner that night and Venu promptly accepted. This was around 1 PM. I came back and told Sudha and my mom that Venu and his family were coming home that evening for dinner.
They looked at me in horror and gave me a look that indicated that I must have gone out of my mind.After she recovered her wits, my mom asked me whether I knew that we didn't have enough plates and glasses, we didn't have chairs to seat any guests, we didn't have a dining table to dine on, we didn't have any milk and curds, we didn't have enough dishes to cook a decent meal and we didn't have enough vegetables etc etc etc.She also reminded me that all cooking was to be done on a single electric stove since we didn't have cooking gas.
After having delivered that royal firing, mom, Sudha and Seetha got down to prepare something. I'm sure their simmering anger against me helped speed up the cooking.
I went crazy with fetching things from the Chintamani Supermarket on my scooter for the dinner.
After this notable event, things settled down somewhat and we made a few trips in 7C Bus Route to Parry's Corner and Evening Bazaar to get some essential household stuff.
We also made a bus trip to Adyar Gate to visit Venu's house.It was a long bus ride and all of us , barring Sudha, went off to sleep. She didn't know where we should get off and was hesitant to wake us up. Anyway, I woke up in time and we had no mishaps.
My parents-in-law visted us and gifted a dining table set.
My company managing director gave me a gift of Rs.1000 and we bought a sofa set with this money.
We were staying in a portion of a house which had two other tenants, both of them sisters.They were Sindhis and Sudha felt very comfortable talking to them in Hindi
I used to be off to work by 8.30 AM and returned in the evening.Sudha took stenography and typing classes to while away her time.Her teacher was a retired Legislative Assembly Stenographer and his wife was a typical Madras Maami who would give Sudha Arashina + Kunkuma on festival days etc.
In the evenings, Sudha and I would go out shopping and buy things to furnish our house.Grocery and provision purchase was at the nearby Chinthamani Supermarket where I would stand in one queue to buy Kerosene and Sudha would stand in another queue to buy Aavin Butter or some such scarce commodity.
I had applied to the Park Town Co-Operative Society for an Indane Gas Connection but it normally took 3 years to get a connection. I had a friend in Indian Oil who helped me get an out of turn connection in May 1976.
In the same month, Rajani, Nandini,Anil and Badri came to spend a couple of days with us.We had no extra cots and all of us would sleep in the drawing room.We had good fun.
I had gone on a tour of Andhra during May and I visited places such as Sirpur Kaghaznagar and Bellampally where the weather was extremely hot. I caught a fever in Sirpur but decided to continue with my visit to Bellampally and then return to Chennai. This was my first to Bellampally where coal was being mined.I reached there with a high fever around 8 PM and checked into a dingy hotel.The air was thick with coal dust.There was no decent food available and I had to manage with Fanta Orange.
The next morning, the sun was bright and shining by 5.30 AM and it was already hot.I went to the Office of Singareni Collieries and the person there was shocked at seeing me. He asked me whether I had been asked to come. I said no, I came on my own.He told me never to come unless I was called and also said that, in that case, the company would make arrangements for transport and stay in their guest house.
I finished my work by 10 AM and scooted out of the place.
In June 1976, I went on a tour of Trichy, Madurai and Tuticorin and took Sudha along with me. We went to the Rock Fort Temple in Trichy, Srirangam, Madurai Meenakshi Temple and also to Kanyakumari.In Sriangam, I paid Rs.12 and bought a colourful saree for Sudha.
In August 1976, I went on a tour of Southern Tamil Nadu and almost got married a second time. Here's how it happened.
I had gone to visit a company called Kothari Phytochemicals which was on the outskirts of Madurai. I had gone there by a mofussil bus.After I finished my work, I came out and was waiting at a bus stop for a bus.I had a newspaper with me and was busy reading it.A few minutes later a woman in her twenties came and stood next to me.After some time, she asked me " Are you coming from Palani?"I did not want to enter into a conversation by saying yes or no, so I buried my face in the newspaper and gave a grunt.She took this as a yes and then asked " Are you going to Madurai?" Grunt.
"Weather is very hot , no?" Grunt.This went on for quite some time--- she asking questions and my replying with grunts with my face buried in the newspaper.
After some time, I realized the incogruity of the situation and thought I would get rid of her by walking up to a nearby teashop. She came behind me. I asked for a cup of tea and she said " One for me also". The shopkeeper looked at me and I nodded yes since it would be churlish to refuse a cup of tea to a lady.
The bus came and I got in and sat in the back seat.In Tamilnadu, the entire left side seats of any bus are usually reserved for women and a few seats were empty. Still the lady came and sat next to me.By now, alarm bells were ringing in my mind.
The conductor came around and I bought one ticket.The woman immediately said "One more ticket for me".The conductor looked questioningly at me and I shrugged my shoulders indicating I did not know who she was.Surprisingly, he did not ask the woman for any money but gave her a ticket anyway.
By now I was certain that something funny was going on.As the bus neared Madurai bus stand, I casually got up and edged my way towards the exit.The lady immediately got up and came behind me.
As the bus slowed down near the bus stand, I got off and ran to the nearest cycle rickshaw and told the driver to move.He asked me where to go.I told him to just start and get away.
The lady ran hard behind the cycle rickshaw and caught hold of a bar at the back and did not let go. I kept urging the driver to cycle faster but she did not let go.By now, we were going through the main street in Madurai and a crowd was looking on.In between gasps of breath, the lady kept shouting " Enne vittitu povadeengo"--- Don't leave me and go.
I asked the rickshaw driver to stop near a traffic policeman.
By now a big crowd had gathered. I went up to the policeman and told him that the lady had followed me all the way from the suburb.The policeman asked her why she was following me and she replied" En purushan saar. Enne vittitu poyitanga"--- " He is my husband.he has left me and gone".
I told the policeman that I was already married and from Madras and produced my visiting card. He took one look at it and asked me to get away as soon as possible.I got into the rickshaw again and told the driver to move fast. The lady broke away and again started running behind me but we had already covered some distance.I was staying at The New College House and decided to cut short my Madurai visit and proceed to Tuticorin. The problem was that I had to catch a bus and therefore would have to come to the bus stand again.
I changed my clothes, put on my sunglasses and very warily came to the bus stand.Fortunately, the woman was nowhere to be seen and I made a smooth getaway.
End of story.
As I've mentioned earlier, my dad and mom and Sethuram and Seetha accompanied us to Madras.
We were staying in Annanagar West which was just on the edge of civilization.My scooter was the only mode of conveyance.To top it all, Sudha didn't know a word of Tamil.
We didn't have a gas connection and we didn't have a sofa set or dining table.A fridge was out of the question.
The first thing we did was to hire a small girl ( maybe around 10 years) as a servant maid.We called her Ponnu.
Next was to register with Aavin for daily milk supply.
As soon as we landed in Madras, I went out and made a phone call to Venu to tell him that we had come.Somewhere during the conversation, I invited Venu over with his family for dinner that night and Venu promptly accepted. This was around 1 PM. I came back and told Sudha and my mom that Venu and his family were coming home that evening for dinner.
They looked at me in horror and gave me a look that indicated that I must have gone out of my mind.After she recovered her wits, my mom asked me whether I knew that we didn't have enough plates and glasses, we didn't have chairs to seat any guests, we didn't have a dining table to dine on, we didn't have any milk and curds, we didn't have enough dishes to cook a decent meal and we didn't have enough vegetables etc etc etc.She also reminded me that all cooking was to be done on a single electric stove since we didn't have cooking gas.
After having delivered that royal firing, mom, Sudha and Seetha got down to prepare something. I'm sure their simmering anger against me helped speed up the cooking.
I went crazy with fetching things from the Chintamani Supermarket on my scooter for the dinner.
After this notable event, things settled down somewhat and we made a few trips in 7C Bus Route to Parry's Corner and Evening Bazaar to get some essential household stuff.
We also made a bus trip to Adyar Gate to visit Venu's house.It was a long bus ride and all of us , barring Sudha, went off to sleep. She didn't know where we should get off and was hesitant to wake us up. Anyway, I woke up in time and we had no mishaps.
My parents-in-law visted us and gifted a dining table set.
My company managing director gave me a gift of Rs.1000 and we bought a sofa set with this money.
We were staying in a portion of a house which had two other tenants, both of them sisters.They were Sindhis and Sudha felt very comfortable talking to them in Hindi
I used to be off to work by 8.30 AM and returned in the evening.Sudha took stenography and typing classes to while away her time.Her teacher was a retired Legislative Assembly Stenographer and his wife was a typical Madras Maami who would give Sudha Arashina + Kunkuma on festival days etc.
In the evenings, Sudha and I would go out shopping and buy things to furnish our house.Grocery and provision purchase was at the nearby Chinthamani Supermarket where I would stand in one queue to buy Kerosene and Sudha would stand in another queue to buy Aavin Butter or some such scarce commodity.
I had applied to the Park Town Co-Operative Society for an Indane Gas Connection but it normally took 3 years to get a connection. I had a friend in Indian Oil who helped me get an out of turn connection in May 1976.
In the same month, Rajani, Nandini,Anil and Badri came to spend a couple of days with us.We had no extra cots and all of us would sleep in the drawing room.We had good fun.
I had gone on a tour of Andhra during May and I visited places such as Sirpur Kaghaznagar and Bellampally where the weather was extremely hot. I caught a fever in Sirpur but decided to continue with my visit to Bellampally and then return to Chennai. This was my first to Bellampally where coal was being mined.I reached there with a high fever around 8 PM and checked into a dingy hotel.The air was thick with coal dust.There was no decent food available and I had to manage with Fanta Orange.
The next morning, the sun was bright and shining by 5.30 AM and it was already hot.I went to the Office of Singareni Collieries and the person there was shocked at seeing me. He asked me whether I had been asked to come. I said no, I came on my own.He told me never to come unless I was called and also said that, in that case, the company would make arrangements for transport and stay in their guest house.
I finished my work by 10 AM and scooted out of the place.
In June 1976, I went on a tour of Trichy, Madurai and Tuticorin and took Sudha along with me. We went to the Rock Fort Temple in Trichy, Srirangam, Madurai Meenakshi Temple and also to Kanyakumari.In Sriangam, I paid Rs.12 and bought a colourful saree for Sudha.
In August 1976, I went on a tour of Southern Tamil Nadu and almost got married a second time. Here's how it happened.
I had gone to visit a company called Kothari Phytochemicals which was on the outskirts of Madurai. I had gone there by a mofussil bus.After I finished my work, I came out and was waiting at a bus stop for a bus.I had a newspaper with me and was busy reading it.A few minutes later a woman in her twenties came and stood next to me.After some time, she asked me " Are you coming from Palani?"I did not want to enter into a conversation by saying yes or no, so I buried my face in the newspaper and gave a grunt.She took this as a yes and then asked " Are you going to Madurai?" Grunt.
"Weather is very hot , no?" Grunt.This went on for quite some time--- she asking questions and my replying with grunts with my face buried in the newspaper.
After some time, I realized the incogruity of the situation and thought I would get rid of her by walking up to a nearby teashop. She came behind me. I asked for a cup of tea and she said " One for me also". The shopkeeper looked at me and I nodded yes since it would be churlish to refuse a cup of tea to a lady.
The bus came and I got in and sat in the back seat.In Tamilnadu, the entire left side seats of any bus are usually reserved for women and a few seats were empty. Still the lady came and sat next to me.By now, alarm bells were ringing in my mind.
The conductor came around and I bought one ticket.The woman immediately said "One more ticket for me".The conductor looked questioningly at me and I shrugged my shoulders indicating I did not know who she was.Surprisingly, he did not ask the woman for any money but gave her a ticket anyway.
By now I was certain that something funny was going on.As the bus neared Madurai bus stand, I casually got up and edged my way towards the exit.The lady immediately got up and came behind me.
As the bus slowed down near the bus stand, I got off and ran to the nearest cycle rickshaw and told the driver to move.He asked me where to go.I told him to just start and get away.
The lady ran hard behind the cycle rickshaw and caught hold of a bar at the back and did not let go. I kept urging the driver to cycle faster but she did not let go.By now, we were going through the main street in Madurai and a crowd was looking on.In between gasps of breath, the lady kept shouting " Enne vittitu povadeengo"--- Don't leave me and go.
I asked the rickshaw driver to stop near a traffic policeman.
By now a big crowd had gathered. I went up to the policeman and told him that the lady had followed me all the way from the suburb.The policeman asked her why she was following me and she replied" En purushan saar. Enne vittitu poyitanga"--- " He is my husband.he has left me and gone".
I told the policeman that I was already married and from Madras and produced my visiting card. He took one look at it and asked me to get away as soon as possible.I got into the rickshaw again and told the driver to move fast. The lady broke away and again started running behind me but we had already covered some distance.I was staying at The New College House and decided to cut short my Madurai visit and proceed to Tuticorin. The problem was that I had to catch a bus and therefore would have to come to the bus stand again.
I changed my clothes, put on my sunglasses and very warily came to the bus stand.Fortunately, the woman was nowhere to be seen and I made a smooth getaway.
End of story.
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